Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Fire Up: #Trust30 - Day 8

Fire Up by Ben von Burg
“Books are the best of things, well used. What is the right use? What is the one end, which all means go to effect? They are for nothing but to inspire.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
As a writer, your only duty is to be original, to inspire, to put something new on paper. Don’t be reasonable – your job is to to fire up people’s imaginations, to give them permission to dream, and to lift their heads up to the incredible sight of the stars. They may forget what you wrote about – but they won’t forget how you made them feel.
It’s your turn now. Dream, be unreasonable and write what comes to you for 15 minutes.
(Author: Ben von Burg)

Energy soaring. My heart swollen, filling my chest, pounding up into my throat. Internal monologue set to pulsing, pounding upbeat music sets me to smiling as my feet follow the rhythm banging in my brain. Happiness. Is it an unreasonable thought? It shouldn’t be. For someone like me that’s only caught glimpses and hints of what this ought to be but in a way that’s almost manic. A feeling of euphoria that sets my mind writhing. What I’d really like is to know something simpler. To be content. Happy. In a deeper sense. Not just a momentary high. At the end of the day, I’d love to return to some place that is not transient, that is mine, that is home. To walk through that door, greeted by someone I feel safe with. Safe in their arms and in their love. Unreasonable. Reasonable for me is to feel the pain and abuse that comes with love driven to obsession. I don’t know real romantic love without pain. Without the wild ride that comes from a rollercoaster of emotion reeling wildly off of its own tracks. I want to feel pleasure – no, not pleasure – simply pleased to know what it is to find a lasting contentment. To languish in a love that does not harrow the heels of hate and hurt.

Oh, who am I kidding. I revel in the ups and the downs. I think I crave the highs so much because I’ve been so low. I worry that without the requisite pain the soothing balm of ecstasy won’t seem to sweet. I would like to find it though. To live a life high on love, a drug I can’t withdraw from. Wild and free.

“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
~Moulin Rouge

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