Monday, December 12, 2011

Even my Subconscious Knows

I love my dreams so much. Last night I had one that I found interesting. I won’t write the whole thing out because I’m missing big chunks of it.

At one point I remember sitting in a hotel/restaurant(?) l room which was set up sort of like a classroom with my brother, sister, and  a bunch of other people. There was some kind of contest. I had carved a very small jack-o-lantern. Apparently I won 1st prize for it.
After the judging there were a few girls that walked by. One of them loudly critized me and put me down. I lashed back and gave her a very rational tearing down. Later I saw her alone, curled up on the ground by her locker crying. I went over to her. I told her she was a beautiful person that {she didn’t need to act that way to remain in control}.

Of course I looked up the significance of this.

To carve a Jack O' Lantern in your dream, suggests that you are trying to put on a tough or mean face. It refers to a superficial facade.
To see a hotel in your dream signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You are undergoing some sort of transition and need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking. You need to temporarily escape from your daily life. Alternatively, the dream may imply a loss in your personal identity.
To see someone else crying in your dream may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.   < ---- I refuse to cry in real life.

Apparently my dreams are trying to tell me I’m having identity issues. Shocking. I’m amused that my subconscious feels I’m doing a prize winning performance of maintaining a superficial fa├žade though. It seems like this is causing a lot of pent of mental stress.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Lost in dreams

So I had an odd dream from last night. I actually remembered enough of it to write it down. I wonder what it all means.

I was supposed to be getting ready for my prom (I never went to prom in high school). I was going with my then best friend Nicole. I was making cupcakes with red frosting. The first batch of frosting wasn’t enough. My mom came over to help and she made some frosting to add to mine but it was disgusting so I had to fix it all. For whatever reason I was layering the cupcakes and pouring all the frosting over them like a cake in a flat pan. A short while later I became very anxious that this was not good enough and wanted to bake all new cupcakes and frost them individually. I only had a couple hours before I had to leave for the prom. I quickly ran to the grocery.  I was also supposed to make some kind of chicken dish which I didn’t think about until I’d already gotten back from the store.

In my travels I was back and forth between the school watching everyone come out in their formalwear. I was dressed in mine at some points, still needing to put on the finishing touches in others. I was in a black dress sleeveless, corseted, with gloves. I was having trouble decided which corset to wear over the dress, one black, one I think red. I was also having trouble lacing them. There were also issues in the school. I recall smoke from the hallways as if part of the building were on fire from within. (I'm missing pieces from this part)
At some point a friend came by. I needed to go with him/her(?) to get some papers signed, as a witness or just to go with. I said I would but I had to be back in 2 hours to get dressed. We went to a place. The interior was some kind of office reception area but it lead through areas that looked as if they belonged in a home, like a dining room. In the main conference Room area there was a bed for a table. There were chairs all around it. We were supposed to get M.E. to sign some kind of contract for an invention he’d created. (Yes, in my dreams M.E. is a guy). We’d never seen him though so didn’t know what he looked like. Some other people were filing in and taking seats. My friend asked if one of them was M.E.? No, it’s that guy over there with the yellow beard, he pointed. Just a guy in his mid to late 30’s, but with a bright yellow beard (not blonde, yellow).  
I saw some girls I knew (Kristin and Kat). We sat on the bed/table together. At one point I ran my fingers along Kristin’s clavicle and she nearly melted as she moaned. The three of us started fooling around on the bed in front of everyone. Eventually someone cleared their throats and we got out of the bed. M.E. gave us kind of a disgusted look and changed the sheets on the bed (also yellow). Then he began to sign the contract.
Soon after he gave a presentation unveiling his invention. It was some kind of fold out table shaped like a compass (like the kind you put a pencil in and draw circles with). People were pretty excited about it. I didn’t get the hype.
I needed to leave after this. It was time to get home so I could get ready for the dance. I couldn’t find my ride so a friend and I decided to walk. Somewhere along the road it seemed like we were being pursued. We ran through a gigantic field of lemons trying to lose them (Yeah, a field of lemon bushes – I know this isn’t how lemons grow). We ran up on some decking and back down into the fields trying to lose whoever was behind us. Finally we cross to the other side of the field where there was another road. I saw a familiar sign and we began walking in the direction we were (hopefully) supposed to be going. The whole time I was trying to calculate in my head just how much time I was losing, how late I would be, if I would have time to get dressed, if it would be ok if we were a little late for the dance.

Weird dream. I know.