Sunday, June 26, 2011


Happy Pride Everyone!

Most anyone that knows me considers me bisexual. Personally I hate the term. It’s so stigmatized in both the homo and hetero culture I’m a little irritated by the label. If decided where I fall on the Kinsey Scale of sexual preference that I fall a little to the right of sexual neutrality; which basically means I don’t discriminate. I’d rank about a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale. My preference is women but I do find myself entangled with men more often than I’d like.

0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual
1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual

So why am I not satisfied with a designation of bisexual? One: Bi implies two choices of sexuality identification and that’s just not right. It doesn’t compensate to include the range of transgendered, transsexual and genderqueered.  All of which I have been attracted to at some point. Really I should just consider myself all around queer. 

The stigma surround the term bisexual is so obnoxious.

From the hetero community you get:

Guys assuming you’re ok and interested in a threesome with another woman. That automatic assumption that individual experience is open to include others.

Generally more promiscuous (ok, well, I might very well be, but it’s not because of my sexuality).
Where’d this come from? Party favors. What’s a party favor? Some dumb drunk broad at a frat party making out with girls to turn on their boyfriends and calling herself bi because of it. Not that there’s anything wrong with drunkenly making out with chicks if that’s what you’re into, but in my opinion, this does not make you bi. It makes you drunk. And lacking self-esteem.

From the homo community:

The assumption we’re just experimenting. Hate this. I know very well that I like women. I don’t know very well that I like men (not as people, clearly some guys are rockin, but to be in relationships with). However it’s almost always assumed that being bi is a phase until you’ve made a choice one way or the other.

Another gripe. If I’m in a hetero relationship with a guy, people consider me bi.  Still. If I’m in a homosexual relationship people begin to refer to me as a lesbian. Honestly if I have my idea I will be with a woman for life but I won’t consider myself a lesbian because I am not solely attracted to women.
I am attracted to people. I’m attracted to traits, interests, characteristics, a persons MIND… all of which have little to do with anatomy. What grabs my attention is someone’s attitude and demeanor. What holds me is their substance.

Everything else is just anatomy and I don’t find that to be particularly important. 


  1. Great post.
    I've been thinking about this kind of stuff lately, good to hear another person's thoughts on it.

    Thanks for the comment :D

  2. Totally agree. Sexuality is much more fluid than simplistic categorization allows. Good on you for not limiting yourself based on expectations or social stigmas.