Friday, January 13, 2012

Random Rant

I was supposed to hang out with a buddy of mine last Saturday. He never called. I was sad, but went about my life as usual. I don’t wait around.

He IMs Monday morning with:

Buddy: sorry I didn't call you on Saturday drama happened
 me: hi hi   no worries   i was kind of overloaded this weekend anyways.   what happened?

 Buddy: well  my girlfriend thinks you are trying to marry me so she had a meltdown

 me: what. the. fuck? I see you like twice a year now.

 Buddy: IDK   she has like crazy jealousy issues

 me: I have enough boy problems.  

 Buddy: she freaks out at the idea of us chilling alone

me: yeah, sounds like what happened when I was with Evil-Ex.

 Buddy: dum dum dudm menacign music.   Yeah its like the same thing really

 me: psycho. tell her i'm involved

Buddy: I did. I told her I think you had a GF and a BF  lol   a full set

me: ::laughs::

Buddy: well I was bummed out.   I really wanted to see you

me: i know!

Buddy: and I think that also made her upset

 me: ::sadface::   hah, that you were bummed out?

 Buddy: I am having really hard time staying excited about this relationship

 me: Well it sucks having someone control your every move

 Buddy: but things have been very stable the last  5 months.   yeah IDK

 me: of course they are {stable}, if you're only paying attention to her. expect that to be a pattern.

 Buddy: I try to explain that the friendship you and I have has always been private

 me: as long as your attention is on her, things will be fine

Buddy: and you kinda don’t like to have to entertain.   IDK

 me: truth.  also, I don't like her very much. I’m expunging all forms of drama. I used to like her but all of this is bullshit. She’s nice to my face, but all this shit behind the scenes? No thanks.

 Buddy: I don't want to talk on your behalf but I know you have said you are different in groups and I see that  and I have to say so am I  so I like the duality of us chilling

 me: me too.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have some pretty intense jealousy sometimes, but I usually have to have at least some kind of valid reason. With Evil-Ex I was often jealous, but he was ACTUALLY cheating on me, and manipulating my emotions to MAKE ME jealous. On purpose. Even then I never stopped him from going out with friends. Just because I feel one way, I try not to behave that way. I keep things hidden. There probably needs to be a better balance of productive communication and not just suppression on my part, but still. Trying to control someone is no way to show that you care about them. That’s just my opinion I suppose.

It really irritates me that people are so inconsiderate of others. I understand that she’s afraid of losing her boyfriend, but she’s falling on a double edged sword here. Let him out and off the leash and he might stray. OR. Tighten the relationship leash around his throat until he suffocates and chews threw it permanently. Lose-lose chickadee.

Trust. Relationships, functioning functional relationships need to have an element of trust.

What really makes me mad though, is that not only is she controlling him, but in a way she’s controlling me as well. She’s removing the option of a choice I would have liked to make – hanging out with my friend (NOT stealing him away).

I do not like people trying to control me.


  1. She sounds like shes got a bit of the non self aware borderline in her.

    I can relate. I have to fight tooth and nail not to be controlling, especially in a new relationship, if I really like the guy. I guess its why I like strong dudes who call me out on my shit instead of guys who play passive agressive.

    1. ugh. Friend is extremely passive-aggressive. It bothers me to no end. I've gotten pretty decent at reigning in the controlling. I'm very controlling of my own actions, but I'm so adamant that others not control me, I make sure to make an extra effort to not control anyone else =/ At least I try. I also like stronger guys that 'won't take my shit', haha.