An evening of Subconcious Cinema...

<Dream from last night.>

I was attending some theater performance. It was at a place where I was familiar like a school. In part this production was a ruse to keep me in one place. Someone was searching for me with the intent of killing me.  Somehow I knew this.

I exited the building when many people were leaving. I did my best to avoid attracting attention as I walked with people, getting lost in the crowd, to the road. When I finally got to the road I realized I’d need a ride to get away, to get anywhere. One man (whom I worked with) saw me but didn’t have his care yet so just waved. Another in a yellow jeep, pulled up and told me to get in.

<skip>

I was outside of the theater/school in an outdoor courtyard. I could see the ocean from where I was. There was a person there. Tall. Shadowed. Boring-Ex was there as well. The tall figure was holding a gun/rifle. I got the gun and intended to use it if need be. Boring-Ex came back to me and handed me a very lovely seashell. I felt like this was some kind of peace offering for me to remember good times. I saw a few other whole, and very lovely seashells on the ground. Picked them up and put them to the side of the courtyard. Something happened and I knew my life was in jeopardy. I shot Boring-Ex in the forehead. I took off. Somewhere I lost the gun.

I went back into the building. I was in a back dressing room/bathroom/classroom area. There were a ton of people milling around. I tried to sneak behind a back wall to hide and remain unnoticed by anyone passing through. Someone saw me and I knew it wouldn’t stay safe. As I was pushing my way out, someone else that was looking out for me pressed a small revolver into my hand because I had lost my larger gun. I would lose this too. He also gave me a utility style knife (like a swiss army knife will all the pull out things). One of the people that was looking at me was a thin blonde woman.  Every second I stayed where I was I felt the impending confrontation coming closer and closer. I ran through rooms, pushing through people, squeezing through the most unlikely exits to get someplace I couldn’t be tracked or found. No matter where I went I was never safe for long.

I finally got to one area. I walked up stairs. There were a lot of people standing in the hall and stairway. I opened the door and it was a dance studio; bright lights, hardwood floor, ballet rail, wall of mirrors. I ran to the other side and ducked into a utility closet. The blonde woman, in an attempt to disguise herself did herself up in some pretty tacky make-up and an obvious, yet still blonde, wig. I knew she was coming and started fumbling with the utility knife. All the pull outs were useless things though; spoon, nail file, corkscrew,… finally I opened something that passed as a dull short knife. She found me, we struggled, and I stabbed her. Deliberately on the front. She fell on her stomach. I stabbed her twice more. Once in the back of the neck. I recall the hesitation before each time, but the certain need of it too, and the exact amount of pressure that was required to break the resistance of her skin. As she lay on the ground in front of me, the man that I was really running from, approached. Tall, broad, bald, like a hit man thug.

I don’t remember anything else, only that there was a lot of other stuff going on. It was also striking just how many people were constantly surrounding me. I don’t recall ever having a dream that was so consistently overwhelmed by other people.

Crowd

To dream that you are in or part of a crowd suggests that you need some space for yourself. You need solitude to reflect on a situation and recharge your energy. Consider also the familiar phrase of "going along with the crowd" which implies conformity and lack of individuality. Perhaps you feel that your own opinion doesn't count or matter. Alternatively, dreaming of a crowd means that you need to incorporate the various aspects of the crowd into your own persona.

Seashells

To see seashells in your dream represent security and protection. You are not showing your true self or real feelings. In protecting yourself from getting hurt, you are also becoming reclusive and emotionally closed off.

Gun

To see a gun in your dream represents aggression, anger, and potential danger. You could be on the defensive about something. Or you may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence. Alternatively, a gun is a symbol of power and pride. Perhaps you are looking for shelter or protection in your dream. From a Freudian perspective, a gun represents the penis and male sexual drive. Thus, the gun may mean power or impotence, depending on whether the gun went off or misfired.

(If guns are a normal part of your life than this interpretation may not be accurate and merely a reflection of something you are involved with often.)

To dream that you shoot someone with a gun denotes your aggressive feeling and hidden anger toward that particular person. You may be trying to blame them for something.

Stab

To dream that you stab someone indicates your fear of betrayal and your untrusting nature. You are being overly defensive.

I may be a little defensive. Yes. And probably more than a little untrusting. I'm still unsure of what the crowding of people around me means though. I'm not overly crowded in my life. Though I am very overwhelmed right now.

<Dream 2>

This weekend I also had a dream that I was fighting as Sith. The Sith I was fighting used a double bladed staff like Darth Maul. I remember laughing in my mind because I had dual shoto and he didn’t stand a chance. Which he didn’t. I killed him. I knew this would end badly for me when I was discovered though. I ran back to my apartment to gather my things so I could take off. My bathroom had two stalls. One for my roommate (who was Buffy) and the other with all my shower supplies. For whatever reason Buffy was having sex in my shower with her boyfriend. I took a quick shower, grabbed one of her towels, and finally had to kick them out of my shower stall so I could get my stuff. As dropped the towel on top of my bench. At that moment the FBI/police walked in. One of them grabbed the towel and told them to analyze it for blood. Surely that was what I’d used to wipe my light sabers clean. What? In my mind I was laughing because who the fuck wipes a light saber blade clean? It’s vaporize whatever you were ‘cleaning’ it with instantly.  They determined that since my towel was clean I must not have killed the other guy. They left. There was something about mens shoes. I took off.

My brain is bizarre. And more than a little geektastic.